5 Ways to Stay Sane

Lately I've come to realize that in this changing world, it's really hard to keep a grasp on reality and our sanity. Theres new problems arising everyday for all of us. Sometimes, It's really hard to keep your feet on the ground and hang in there. Especially with the excruciating expectations put on all of us everyday. 

Sometimes we forget how beautiful and amazing we are and how beautiful our lives truly are. 

So I thought I'd give you all a few wise words to remind you just how beautiful YOU are. 

Be Your Own Kind of Beautiful 

#1.

So often in our lives, we let others opinions or comments control how we feel about ourselves. Trying to live up to other peoples expectations will leave you feeling like a failure. Always remember to walk away from anything or anyone who takes away from your joy. That's yours. Life is far too short to put up with people who waste your time and make you miserable. 

#2.

This ones a big one and a huge challenge for everyone, even myself. Our media today has created an image of beauty that is nearly unattainable, and to be honest, wrong. Beauty can't be defined by anyone but yourself. Be confident in who you are, because EVERYONE is beautiful in their own way. It's foolish to try to be like everyone else, be different, be who you truly want to be. 

#3. 

This nike slogan is saying a lot more than 'buy a pair of nikes'. This slogan can be applied to all aspects of life. If you want to be happy, then do what you want. Even if someone says you can't. You're capable of anything you put your mind to. Don't let simple minded people who are afraid to do something themselves, hinder you. If you want it, go get it. You are the only one in your way.

#4.

I personally love this one. When people leave our lives, wether it be due to a breakup or a relationship, a friendship, or anything else, it's important we realize that life goes on. At first it may seem like the end of the world. But it's not. The pain is temporary and everything will eventually work itself out. Don't ever say you can't live without someone. You came into this world alone and you are strong enough to make it on your own and find happiness again.

#5. 

And finally, the most important advice of all. Which should be preached over and over again. Never forget who you are. Don't let anyone change you, bring you down, or make you feel inferior. You are your own person, you were created to be unique. Never destroy that by trying to fit in.

Why would you want to follow the crowd, when you could take your own path walking alone.

Heres laughing at those who try to fit in,

when they're born to stand out.

Sincerely, 

Laughing At Life

Why I Write

It's 1:20 am, so it's really no surprise I'm up writing.
I need a release. A moment to myself, to collect my thoughts.
And as I sit here, scrolling through pinterest's 'quotes' section, I've stumbled upon a quote I thought i'd share. It really struck me the second I read it.


"I write because I don't know what I think until I read what I say."
-Flannery O'Connor


Lately, I've been jumping between majors in college, trying to decide what I want to do. I've discovered a love for english and writing, unlike any other. However, I've really struggled to understand if it's for me or what I can truly do with it in my life.

I meet people who hate writing college essays every day, just absolutely dread the thought of them. However I find myself getting lost in them. Papers are almost calming for me. Essays give me a chance to explain my reasoning, my thoughts, my feelings in my own way as if to change the mind of the professor or whoever may be reading it. As if to plead my case. To explain why I feel, this is right.
Coloring in a bubble could never do that for me.
Selecting true or false, has never been something i've enjoyed.
Exams, quizzes, anything with an A,B,C,D .. true or false answer, makes me feel trapped.
You are either right, or you are wrong, and that's it.
I've always hard a hard time with exams of this format. Because I second guess myself.
I circle one answer, but in my mind, I debate another.
I can't lay out my thoughts.

But not when it comes to writing. I waste no time questioning myself.. is this right.. is this wrong. I just end up with a product that depicts my thoughts clearly, because I translated them from my mind somehow on to this paper, and now it all is making sense to me and coming together. I can lay out my thoughts, look them over, revise them. I can grasp a understanding of what i'm thinking. And from there, I can answer a question with a product I'm proud of and believe in. I didn't have to chose some answer formulated by an examiner that may or may not make complete sense to me.
I'm formulating my answer, let me explain it to you.
I'm allowing the professor, reader, whoever to step into my mind for a second.
And that's really an astonishing thing to be able to do, to allow someone to get a glimpse of how you are envisioning things.

And this translates into my life when it comes to even writing things like this. Until about 17 minutes ago when I started writing this, I didn't know it would go this route. I didn't know why I enjoyed essays so much, but a quote set my mind going, and now thoughts are flowing out.

Give me a computer, give me a paper and a pencil, give me a chance, I'll let you see my mind. That's truly what writing is. An insight into the authors mind. Hell, and insight into my own mind.

I have a million thoughts a day, but until I put it into words on a computer, I don't realize what I really think. I don't realize what I really feel. Even speaking aloud, I get all jumbled up. There's things I don't want to say, things I can't vocalize, the fear of looking stupid. For me, speaking my feelings aloud just doesn't do me justice. But writing, allows me to hide, while also stepping out of the shadows. It's a strange concept, that might not make sense, but that's how I see it. Like I said, a glimpse into my mind.

But, maybe you're like me, thoughts flowing like crazy in your mind, but you just can't keep up. So many things you just don't know how to even say. I encourage you to try writing. You might write complete nonsense that jumps from thought to thought with no clear meaning. But hell, at least the thoughts are there written out for you, not simply floating around up there.

Because let me tell you, until 1:20 am tonight, I had no clue why I struggled so much with exams and loved essays so much. I didn't realize why things just made more sense when writing. But the minute I sat myself down and started to think about it, started to formulate these sentences, I started to figure it out.


Writing lets you explain yourself.
Writing lets you know how you feel.
You just don't know it until you start.



Sincerely,
Writing and Laughing away

As always.

College: Deciding Your Fate at Nineteen

Does anyone remember those 'Choose your own fate' books that were big in elementary schools across the country in the 90's? You'd be reading the book when suddenly you'd flip the page, typically during a climatic point, and suddenly the moment of truth had come. You'd have to choose either option one or two and then the new route of the story you selected would pick back up on a different page. By the end of the story, you had gone on this this completely fucked up path to get there and were typically left wondering what the other story end could have been. Some I'm sure even actually went back and tried to retrace their steps to the other ending.

I hated those books.

A story is a story because the author made it that way. Don't go stressing me out with all these possible choices, just tell me the fucking story you wanted to write.
I blame those books on indecisive authors who just couldn't choose between two novel endings, so they just said fuck it and made a novel in which readers make the choice for them. Lazy.

And lately, these 'Choose your own fate' novels are reminding me a lot of my college experience/life. However if I am not happy with the ending I get to.. I'm shit out of luck.

When it comes to choosing the end of my story, the stakes are a lot higher.
Currently, I am in my second year of college. I did a year as one major, switched to possibly doing another, to now heading back to pursue a completely different major. My college experience is one big turned around 'Choose your own fate' book. Except the only catch here is, the more time I spend changing my mind and choosing other directions, the more money and time it costs me. And it's incredibly stressful. When it comes to college all you've got at stake is your future, no pressure. I mean, your major is only what you're going to have a degree to do for the rest of your life.

The truth about it all is the minute we graduate high school our futures are handed to us like a ball of clay, and everyone expects us to make a pot, with no experience at all. They aren't even handing us a potting wheel.
(Okay I've taken this potting metaphor too far.)

But it really is true. At eighteen you are sent off and expected to figure it all out, and you've really got all the time in the world, if you can afford to hang around for that long.
Here I find myself a year and a half into college, still in my fucking teens, and people are telling me it's about time I declare a major. I can't even drink, rent a car, or book a hotel room; but i'm allowed, hell encouraged, to tell decide what i'm going to be doing for the rest of my life?!

Please. That has to be a joke.

I found myself realizing this all when I was emailing my old english teacher tonight, asking for advice when it came to my major. It all just sort of hit me, we really are deciding our fates here in college and when you come to realize that it just becomes that much harder. Because to be honest? My favorite color changes like the weather, I can't even commit to cruise control when driving, and really I'm always looking for the next best thing. How am I supposed to trust that what I love and want to do for the rest of my life one day, won't change the next?

But as of today I came to a simple realization I should have ages ago. If I truly love something, then my feelings won't change. When it comes to college, your major, and overall your future? Honestly, just hang on to what you love. Even if society is telling you it's unrealistic or it might not make you rich, you love it and it makes you happy. That will always be enough. Don't fall into the trap of following anyone else's dreams, but your own. You don't need to be 50 years old with years of life experience to decide your future, you just need to love something enough to know it's right. Once you find that one thing you love, all the pieces will come together.
And if you don't know what you love yet? Well your 'choose your own fate' novel just has a few more crossroads, so keep going and choose wisely.
Eventually your story will lead you to the ending the author intended.

Sincerely,
Laughing at those dumb 'choose your own fate' novels.

Time to pick apart mainstream music

If you are a fan of Kanye West, you will really hate this post. 

Also, if you take offense to people disliking your favorite artists, just stop reading because I'm going to go off a little bit. 

This is nothing like my other posts, but I just feel like sharing some of my insight.

I swear i'll go back to inspirational crap after this. 

Today I was checking out iTunes, which I rarely do, because I am a huge fan of Spotify and tend to reside there for music. 

As I was looking over the new mainstream music and whats popular now, I picked out a few key things I found comical while also being disappointing. 

For starters, 

Why are we putting hashtags in song titles. 

Examples,

• #beautiful by Mariah Carey 
• #thatpower by will.i.am 

note: will.i.am took it even further as to make the album title #thatpower 

I don't know how many times people need to be reminded but hashtags are for TWITTER and TWITTER only. Why are we utilizing them outside of the realm they were created in? 

You don't use a condom for anything but sex.

So don't use a hashtag for anything but twitter, it's just fucking strange.

Alright, Second issue I spotted 

'We can't stop' by Miley Cyrus is the second most popular song on itunes. 

Look, I understand people all have different tastes in music, and I'm sure mine isn't typical either, but really guys, you like that crap?

Has anyone seen the music video, it's some Lady Gaga shit. 

Like the hashtag thing, leave weird shit up to Lady Gaga, that's her thing. 

This is similar to when 'Gangnam Style' was the top song on itunes. 

Sure the song is catchy, but holy shit did america eat that shit up, without even knowing what the lyrics meant. You probably sang along with the song, speaking a completely different language, and you had NO clue what you were saying. 

That's not weird to anyone else? That the top song in our country, practically no one could understand, and everyone sang along with the lyrics. 

That shit is weird people. 

Lastly, and probably which bugs me the most, Kanye West 

This guys new album is entitled 'Yeezus'.. 

First of all, what the fuck does that even mean?

And the what the fuck continues as you check out the song titles, 'Black Skinhead' 'New Slaves' 'I Am A God' .. like seriously what the hell Kanye?

And this shit is popular. 

Like i'm sorry if you have a song entitled 'I Am A God', in which you say things like 'I Am A God, hurry up with my damn massage, get the porsche out the damn garage' ... like NO. just NO. 

Not to mention, this guy just had a child with Kim Kardashian. Things are already going south for the kid to begin with, being as his name is North West. Like, what is with the celebrities and the weird baby names, though thats a whole new problem. 

What kind of message is Kanye sending his kid when he has songs with lyrics like 'I'd rather be a dick than a swallower', like there ya go North West, that's some good life advice. 

Now I'm not saying Kanye hasn't had good music, he has. 

But what is happening to mainstream music right now? Like that shit is popular?

I could make a better album than Kanye, and I have vocal nodules and zero musical talent. 

Yet this man is still making millions off us, because this is what we are taught is 'cool'.

Songs like 'I Am A God' and 'New Slaves' are not cool, they are actually really fucked up concepts if you think about it. 

I don't mean to bash people when I am personally untalented, I'm more bashing their inability to create a product with meaning. 

And it's possible to get popular off meaningful music, Macklemore is doing it as we speak, being as he is one of the only artists on the top lists that I find respectable and enjoyable. 

But I just don't think that people who are creating really messed up/mind numbingly stupid music, should be making money. 

This is exactly whats wrong with mainstream music, you can make millions, if you pretty much bend over and take it from record companies and create what they say, or some weird shit (like we can't stop) just to get attention. 

When did attention grabbers become strange music videos and weird as shit lyrics, and not simply musical talent. 

Not all mainstream music sucks, I am seriously LAUGHING and some of the recent creations by artists. 

Sincerely, 

Laughing in awe of the stupidity 

Is Independence the key to being Forever Alone?

A few nights ago I went to get frozen yogurt with two friends of mine.
As we were eating our fake ice cream, we got to talking.

All of us being extremely independent women, got on the topic of relationships and our struggles with them, all causal talk until one of my friends said;

"Does the fact we're independent mean we're bound to be alone forever then?"

This statement began to make me think, is independence the key to being forever alone?

I mean hell, in our society today women are running the show just as much as men are, don't get me wrong. But does womens new found independence lead men to shy away?

Now i'm going to make men sound dumb for a second, so bear with me, and whether you agree or disagree hear me out.

Men like to feel wanted, to feel needed.
I say this from experience, I'm not a lesbian sitting here writing about the feelings of men.
But everyone wants to feel needed, so you can't argue I'm wrong. 

In the olden days, women stayed home while men went to work, provided for their families, and overall became the head of the home. Housewife material was looked for in women. But in todays society women are encouraged, no expected, to make a life for themselves. Women are just as capable as men in providing for themselves and a family. 

And if you ask me, I think this change is scary to men. 

Men aren't 'needed' as much as history may have portrayed them before.

Now I'm not saying men aren't needed or trying by any means to be an extreme feminist on the topic, but theres no denying men want to wear the pants in a relationship (or most men). So what does this mean for independent driven women who want more to life then simply a kitchen? Are we bound to end up with a man who plays stay at home dad? Or are we simply bound to be alone?

Is it possible to share the pants in a relationship?

I'm not quite sure.
Because the way I look at it, it's very nice that men would like to do things for me.. but i'd prefer to get things done myself. I will never be a woman who sits at home all day waiting for their husband to come home from work. I just could not imagine my life revolving around my husband.
That's not to say I wouldn't love my husband to death and devote my life to him, it simply means I would like to create a life for myself outside of our marriage as well, rather than make his life my own. And I think it's becoming increasingly hard for independent women to find men in these changing times. Even when I'm just getting to know guys I get scolded on not letting them do things for me.

Here's some things I seem to do 'wrong':

For starters, It's adorable that you can open my car door and want too. But when I do it for myself, don't get discouraged. I've got arms and legs and am capable of opening my own door every once and awhile. Your puppy dog look is really making me feel awkward as I get out of the car.

I also enjoy alone time. I don't find the need to be around someone twenty four hours a day, I like to do things on my own. Don't scold me and tell me I don't seem interested, when I simply choose to not see you every single day.

Sure I love when you make me dinner. But I won't bow down and bless the ground you walk on over it, because to be honest the chicken is kind of dry and I know you put in a good effort but you're no Chef Ramsey.

I also apparently am wrong to not want to cook all the time. Which really blows my mind. I know in the olden days women ruled the kitchen, but if I'm cooking it's for both of us, not just because you want a sandwich. You need to be my idol to get a sandwich out of me.
Because I make great sandwiches.

But I'll end my rant.

The message of this is really unclear, I realize that. I'm not sure if independence is the key to being forever alone, I'm sure independent women will find men. But I think it just takes a little more searching.
All I'd like to say is, don't give up any of your independence because a man wants to feel needed or because it's a woman 'job'. We live in a world where women can do just as much as men, more than some even. Don't let old societal beliefs hold you back or let them determine what you yourself see as fitting.
If me and my friends came to one realization after this conversation, it was that no matter how hard it is to find a man who accepts our independence, we wouldn't change who we were at all.

I leave you with this.

"I want every little girl who's told she's bossy, to be told instead she has leadership skills." 

-Sheryl Sandberg

Strong, Independent women keep doing what you're doing, I commend you for it. 

Sincerely, 

Laughing at life- Independently 

I've Got a Cold One and a Computer

Ernest Hemingway once said,

"Write drunk, Edit sober."

Now, I'm not quite sure how sir Hemingway came to this realization, but I commend him for it. 

What is it with the correlation between alcohol and the truth?

People always say, "Sober thoughts are drunken words", but that can't be true. Because I'd like to think that the stupid shit I think when I'm drunk, can't be who I truly am. 

Because if that's true, then I'm an idiot. 

So why do we seem to speak the truth to others when we've had a few?

I don't mean when we're beyond drunk, about to vomit, I mean when we've had a few drinks and are feeling good. 

Is the fact that we as humans tend to show our true colors typically when drinking a sign of our extreme conformity when we're all 'with it'? or is it simply what the scientists will tell you? Alcohol simply loosens you up.

I'd like to think that it's not simply what the scientists say, because I can't seem to accept everything seems to just make more sense when i've had a few because of some biological reasoning. And I think there is a deeper meaning to it all. Let it be us mentally taking a step away from the real world and beginning to not care what others think for a second, or that alcohol has magical powers, I am a strong believer of what Ernest Hemingway once said and therefore I will act accordingly.

And yes, as I write this I am sitting with a coors light, taking a load off from studying.

Sorry Mom and Dad. 

But I will give credit to this Coors Light for the insight into my life I'm about to give. 

I am constantly saying 'laugh at life' or when trouble comes just 'laugh about it'. Constantly giving the advice that every time you are able to find humor in a difficult situation, you will win. 

But now I am going to contradict what I've said by simply asking, do you really always win if you can laugh about it?

Day by day I try to find a way to laugh at life's struggles, because in reality for the moment, it works. But what about those nights when you can't sleep?

Those nights when it's just you and your thoughts.

Just you and your life.

Sitting face to face.

Alone.

Trapped. 

Is laughing at our struggles really going to work then?

I'd argue no.

There have been plenty of nights that laughing just isn't a possibility. And I am now going to tell you, that isn't bad. Because, why must we always be so strong? Human beings are weak by nature, as are all things. We all can be weak. We can run from being weak as much as we like but eventually, we all get tired and the nights catch up to us and we're alone again, our thoughts having captured us. And in that moment, laughter is simply inappropriate. 

In that moment of exhaustion from running, we've got to let our minds take over and do some thinking, as painful as it may seem to some of us. 

And why is this you ask?

Because if we consistently run from our problems, our thoughts, the daily struggles of our lives.. we eventually will crash. Like a runner attempting to run forever, we will reach exhaustion and lord knows that will occur then. 

Facing our problems and thoughts may be tough, but in the end it keeps us sane. Because avoiding our problems is like throwing everything you don't want into a closet. Soon the closet isn't going to be able to hold everything and it's going to spew all over, and now look at the mess you've made. And once that happens you've got to start picking everything back up, and refilling the closet, a vicious cycle. 

Whereas if we simply clean out our closet a little every once and awhile, there won't be a mess to clean up. 

It's simple logic, yet we all seem to deny it, because it can sting a little. 

Those nights where you've got to think about the struggles of your life, stings. 

But if you ask me, i'd rather take a bee sting every once and awhile then an electric shock. Any day. 

So next time it's just one of those nights, where you realize all your problems, faults, struggles, and overall realize that your life isn't perfect, don't run. Face it, life's tough. No matter how fast you go, you'll never get away from life. She's a bitch.. and damn she's quick and has great endurance. 

So tonight I leave you with this,

Keep laughing at life. 

But sit down with life every once and awhile and face her. 

Or she'll find a way to make you take a seat herself. 

Sincerely, 

Sitting down with life. 

Oh and sorry Ernest, I don't think I need to edit this sober, this is as good as it's going to get grammatically. 

Do we blame our countries security? Or should we start blaming mankind?

Today I pose a new question to you all.
Normally I would ask you all to laugh at life's misfortunes in order to brighten your day, but now I ask you to help me understand, How do we laugh at life when our world is becoming so dark and messed up?
Wheres the bright side to all of this?
Or a better question, is there one?

Today the Boston Marathon experienced multiple explosions.
As of now, the injury count is twenty eight with six in serious condition. Two have already died.

Wheres the bright side in that?

School shootings.
Mall shootings.
Movie theater massacres.
The Twin Towers attacked by terrorists.

The list goes on.

Normally I would not be so down and out about life, but isn't it just exhausting sometimes? I feel every day I turn on the TV and theres a new tragedy. I can't be the only one who feels this way.
And It never gets any easier to swallow.
Whether you know a victim or not, it's sickening, plain and simple.

And whenever a new tragedy comes across the news, I always have the same question I wish to ask the culprit of these acts.
In a world that is so hard, in a world where are are ALL just trying to get by, in a world with so much struggle and hardship everywhere, why did you find the need to make it worse?
If you know how hard life can be, daily, no matter who you are, why would you ever add to the struggle that comes along with simply living?

In a video called 'Pep Talk from Kid President', Kid president says
" And if life is a game aren’t we all on the same team. I mean really, right? I’m on your team, you’re on my team. " 

And that's so true these days, we are all on the same team. WHY can't we start acting like it. 
Theres sick people in this world, but it seems lately that they just keep getting sicker. 

Which leads me to the title of this post, Do we blame our countries security? Or should we start blaming mankind?
After the tragedy at Sandy Hook Elementary, our government started seriously considering gun laws. 
But now with a bombing of sorts, what aspect of our countries security should we attack now? 
Or why don't we quit blaming the government, and start blaming us. 
Blaming mankind. Blaming people. 
I'm no extremist, and I don't truly know what the government should do. 
I more wish to point out that, isn't it really the people that we should fix?
Though that right now, seems impossible. 

I guess my point with this rant is quite simple.
I don't truly have an answer to anything going on with the world now days. But I do believe one thing, that we need to cherish every single day we've got. 
So often we see these events occur and we see life ripped from innocent people. It seems lately, theres no fixing some people in this world, that's a challenge I personally would never want to take on. What I do believe is that we can change ourselves. 
And maybe someday, if enough people come to agree on peace and happiness, maybe the world will. 
Theres no anecdote to our worlds problems and that's what makes them so hard to accept, but hopefully if we go on cherishing every moment we've got left, the events will continue to remind us how precious our lives are. Leading us to be saddened, but grateful. 

We live in a sick sick world, full of sick minded people.
But that doesn't mean we've all got to join in.
Stick to being happy. 
Stick to cherishing life. 
Stick to praying for those experiencing hardship. 
Stick to peace. 
And no sick person can truly every win. 

Sincerely, 
Cherishing laughter & happiness even more every day.