The 8 Simple Seasons of the Midwest

My whole life I've had a love/hate relationship with the midwest. Growing up in Minnesota then moving to Wisconsin for school, I've experienced just about all the midwest has to offer (at least in my opinion). From unreasonably hot summers to freezing cold winters, living through extreme temperatures has always been quite the 'treat'. However in my 19 short years of life, I've realized how irrational those of us who live in the midwest truly are.
Here's the cycle of Irrationality:
8 seasons, instead of 4.

Let's start with Fall.
Fall for those of us in the midwest is not truly fall, it's a short lived season of temperatures ranging from 50-30 degrees, when mother nature mentally prepares us for winter. Fall typically starts in late september, ending before halloween. So realistically, fall is only a month around here. However, women will seize every last second of fall, tweeting about their love for 'fall fashion', hitting up apple orchards, and overwear every vest they own.

After fall comes Pre-Winter.
This is the time around halloween when everyone begins to complain about the cold. It's typically about 30-20 degrees outside and theres no snow, simply frigid cold and depressing cloudy weather. Girls buy scantily clad halloween costumes and try to deny that they're going to freeze their asses off in them, denying that winter is coming. In Pre-Winter our bodies also start to adjust to temperatures, 40 begins to seem semi warm to a lot of us.

Then comes Winter Wonderland.
Winter Wonderland is an interesting time. Temperatures have dropped remarkably, sometimes even to below zero. BUT the minute the first snow flake falls, suddenly the hate for the cold has subsided and day dreaming of a 'white christmas', kicks in. This short period of time leading up to christmas is what I like to call the 'glory days' of winter, where everything seems merry and we all are happy to live in a state where it snows.

Then the REAL Winter begins.
The minute the holiday season ends, our mind switches to believing we are living in our own personal hell. Temperatures are below freezing as before, but since the holiday spirit is over, suddenly everything is just the WORST. Snow is no longer beautiful to us and we all begin to have an undying hate for it, complaining every time a flake falls. What's interesting about this time is that it really is the same weather as Winter Wonderland, minus Santa and the pretty lights, so we all hate it.

Then comes the season of The Clinger.
Similar to a clingy girlfriend, winter begins to cling on to the midwest far into march. Temperatures will rise to as high as 30 degrees and drop to as low as -45 degrees throughout a single week. It may be March, but you wouldn't be able to tell without a calendar as the wether remains the same as December or January.

By April, Pre-Spring Frustration starts.
Snow has started to melt in the midwest, however, our hatred sticks around. Towns start to look dirty and beat up, as snow melts and exposes Pre-Winters grime and filth that our little 'Winter Woderland' had covered up.

Hopefully by May, it's Spring.
Temperatures by May are hopefully up to 50 degrees and everyone inevitably begins breaking out the summer gear. Clothing fit for a day at the beach is worn around puddles of melted snow, and suddenly 50 degrees is feeling 'hot'. This joy about beautiful temperatures will last about a month, before mother nature slaps us in the face again.

Mother Nature's Idea of Hell, starts in June.
A few weeks into June, the real fun begins. Temperatures will range from 60 degrees all the way up to 105 degrees. Everyone begins to regret letting go of winter and the complaints begin yet again. From being one of the coldest areas of the country, the midwest jumps to being one of the hottest, sending midwesterners bodies haywire.

By September, the cycle begins over again. Same attitudes year after year. Nothing is ever good enough for us in the Midwest. If I've learned anything, we're rarely pleased by much, other than those few short months we're walking in a Winter Wonderland.

But even though us midwesterners have so much hate for the weather at times, I personally, wouldn't have it any other way.

Sincerely,
Laughing at life's irony.

The consequences of my Late Night Reflections (Caution: Controversial Content)

I read, or struggled though a few paragraphs, today of an article by a younger woman. I say I struggled, because it truly was painful to read. The piece didn't have outstanding grammatical errors that I couldn't stand (I'm no grammar police), nor was it typed like Di$$. It was truly the content, the message, that I struggled to grasp and really choked on.

You can find the article here: http://bemalleable.wordpress.com/2013/12/31/sincerely-one-of-many-girls-who-care/
Though in all honesty, I didn't finish it. I'm just commenting on the overall opening concept of this piece.

Now I'm typically not one to bash others opinions, or really give a hoot about what people of religion or people with no religion are preaching about, but this set me off past my beliefs on religion. This brought out my feminist/feministic side. (Not that I would define myself as an extreme feminist by any means, however I think as a woman, it's important to be slightly feminist. Seeing as well, I am a female and I'm just as good as any man out there. Maybe not at building stuff, but you get my point.) 

Anyways, this article is an apology. And in short, it's an apology for women's existence. Now I'm not saying the author specifically states, I'm sorry for women and their existence.. but she comes pretty damn close. 

"I’m sorry that you see hundreds of advertisements every week showing half-dressed women. I’m sorry every time you go to the beach or your neighborhood pool you can’t look in any direction without seeing a girl basically in her underwear. Or that you can’t scroll through Instagram on “women crush wednesdays” or any day for that matter without an airbrushed girl in a thong staring you down. Or that your buddy showed you that one magazine when you were 9 and you’ve never forgotten that moment because that was the first time you first saw a completely naked woman. When I think about the guys in my life who are striving to live with a pure and Godly mindset, it honestly breaks my heart that they’re surrounded with so much temptation."

Now many people may not take this as an insult (though you people may want to stop reading right here), but I did, and i'll tell you why. As women, I don't think we should be pointed at as the cause for mens un-godly mindsets, or basically blamed for all males sexual drive. That to me, is ridiculous. You see, when I read this I saw what she was trying to get at. She is very sorry that there is so much sexual advertisement all over the place. However, what get's me is she isn't putting it that way, she's saying it as if it is our fault as women for letting all of this take place. 

Which in some ways, it is our fault. Women do pose half-dressed, however, the female body is beautiful and media wants to perpetuate and thrive off of that. (Given the way in which advertisements perpetuate women should look and what is beautiful, and all the wrong doings there, is a whole new argument). What she's saying is "I'm sorry men, that you have eyes and can see beautiful women all over the place, and are attracted." Or the swimsuits argument, really?? .. I don't even want to go there. Then she bashes women crush wednesday, which really blows my mind, because now she's pointing fault to all those who post photos of women they find beautiful on any given wednesday and she stereotypes that all these women posted are airbrushed in thongs. (My guy friend women crush wednesday'd me one time.. a nice picture of us two. I was not airbrushed, nor in a thong, and I personally took it as a compliment.)

I could get into more about what she said but I'll move on to my next point. 

Why's no one apologizing to us women? I'd like to see the apology edited to be like this:

"Women, I'm sorry you see hundreds of shirtless men who are half-dressed on TV and in advertisements every day. I'm sorry every time you go to the beach or pool you can't look in any direction without seeing a man in simply swim trunks, just showing off his chest to the world. Or that you can't scroll through instagram on man crush monday without seeing an airbrushed man in a thong, or nothing at all, for that matter.. blah blah... It honestly breaks my heart that women are surrounded by so much temptation." 

.. That's what I would have liked to see a women write to her fellow women, an apology for how hard it is to be a female surrounded by temptation (because that's something a female could relate to another about. Though that would have still annoyed me because it's blatantly passing judgement on the opposite sex for dressing a way the author does not approve of), This letter would have seemed more 'right' and 'just'. Not a woman apologizing to men, who are driven by sexual desire, for her fellow women who decide to not live as modest a lifestyle as she may. Theres so much slut-shaming here I can't handle it. 

And I'm not justifying anything that she claims women are doing that 'tempts' men. I'm just saying that not only is it wrong to blame women for males sexual desire, It's wrong for her to be perpetuating her beliefs in such a way. To take it to extremes, it'd be similar to her writing "Dear man, I am sorry that woman tempted you so much that you had to rape her. She was dressed in such a way, that I can see how you couldn't resist, I really am sorry women tempt you so much like that. Sincerely, female." 

And see, that seems crazy. 

If you are a female, in this really tough world, where it's already hard enough to have self esteem.. why would you make women feel like crap by turning on them and apologizing to the opposite sex for them. As if your fellow women's actions and the way they chose to live their lives or present themselves is cruel to men. 

Why don't you just go make him a sandwich while you're at it? Because it seems we've fallen back to the happy homemaker times, where women were expected to simply support men, and not have a say themselves. 

In the end I guess what I'm trying to say is plain and simple; thanks, but no thanks. 

Don't go apologizing for me, I'm not sorry. 

Women have the right to do whatever they please, I may not agree with all of it either, but it's not your job or anyone else's job for that matter to apologize for them. Men are just as at fault as women are and there is no reason to treat men like the victims. Grown men with sexual desires, don't need to be treated like children. 

Nor is it right for you to judge women. You don't see anyone apologizing for women who are modest, because it's simply wrong. 

If you find what this woman said okay, that is just fine. You have a right to your opinion (as do I, hence why I'm posting mine here in this blog) and I respect that. However, keep it to yourself. Because I may not know the bible word for word, cover to cover, or understand everything. But one thing I do know, is that passing judgement upon others is frowned upon. 

And even if it weren't stated in the bible, it's wrong no matter what. Because the only person who should be allowed to pass judgement on you, is yourself. (Maybe your mother too, depends, she did have to work her ass off for 9 months so you could even happen.)

Anyways, I'm sick of societies judgement making people feel like their doing something wrong, simply because society says so. Whatever I do in my life, I get to judge myself for. If I want to feel bad about something I've done, I reserve the right to make myself feel bad and judge myself. No one else, plain and simple. 

Sincerely, 

Feeling very controversial tonight and laughing at myself because I reserve the right to.