Is Independence the key to being Forever Alone?

A few nights ago I went to get frozen yogurt with two friends of mine.
As we were eating our fake ice cream, we got to talking.

All of us being extremely independent women, got on the topic of relationships and our struggles with them, all causal talk until one of my friends said;

"Does the fact we're independent mean we're bound to be alone forever then?"

This statement began to make me think, is independence the key to being forever alone?

I mean hell, in our society today women are running the show just as much as men are, don't get me wrong. But does womens new found independence lead men to shy away?

Now i'm going to make men sound dumb for a second, so bear with me, and whether you agree or disagree hear me out.

Men like to feel wanted, to feel needed.
I say this from experience, I'm not a lesbian sitting here writing about the feelings of men.
But everyone wants to feel needed, so you can't argue I'm wrong. 

In the olden days, women stayed home while men went to work, provided for their families, and overall became the head of the home. Housewife material was looked for in women. But in todays society women are encouraged, no expected, to make a life for themselves. Women are just as capable as men in providing for themselves and a family. 

And if you ask me, I think this change is scary to men. 

Men aren't 'needed' as much as history may have portrayed them before.

Now I'm not saying men aren't needed or trying by any means to be an extreme feminist on the topic, but theres no denying men want to wear the pants in a relationship (or most men). So what does this mean for independent driven women who want more to life then simply a kitchen? Are we bound to end up with a man who plays stay at home dad? Or are we simply bound to be alone?

Is it possible to share the pants in a relationship?

I'm not quite sure.
Because the way I look at it, it's very nice that men would like to do things for me.. but i'd prefer to get things done myself. I will never be a woman who sits at home all day waiting for their husband to come home from work. I just could not imagine my life revolving around my husband.
That's not to say I wouldn't love my husband to death and devote my life to him, it simply means I would like to create a life for myself outside of our marriage as well, rather than make his life my own. And I think it's becoming increasingly hard for independent women to find men in these changing times. Even when I'm just getting to know guys I get scolded on not letting them do things for me.

Here's some things I seem to do 'wrong':

For starters, It's adorable that you can open my car door and want too. But when I do it for myself, don't get discouraged. I've got arms and legs and am capable of opening my own door every once and awhile. Your puppy dog look is really making me feel awkward as I get out of the car.

I also enjoy alone time. I don't find the need to be around someone twenty four hours a day, I like to do things on my own. Don't scold me and tell me I don't seem interested, when I simply choose to not see you every single day.

Sure I love when you make me dinner. But I won't bow down and bless the ground you walk on over it, because to be honest the chicken is kind of dry and I know you put in a good effort but you're no Chef Ramsey.

I also apparently am wrong to not want to cook all the time. Which really blows my mind. I know in the olden days women ruled the kitchen, but if I'm cooking it's for both of us, not just because you want a sandwich. You need to be my idol to get a sandwich out of me.
Because I make great sandwiches.

But I'll end my rant.

The message of this is really unclear, I realize that. I'm not sure if independence is the key to being forever alone, I'm sure independent women will find men. But I think it just takes a little more searching.
All I'd like to say is, don't give up any of your independence because a man wants to feel needed or because it's a woman 'job'. We live in a world where women can do just as much as men, more than some even. Don't let old societal beliefs hold you back or let them determine what you yourself see as fitting.
If me and my friends came to one realization after this conversation, it was that no matter how hard it is to find a man who accepts our independence, we wouldn't change who we were at all.

I leave you with this.

"I want every little girl who's told she's bossy, to be told instead she has leadership skills." 

-Sheryl Sandberg

Strong, Independent women keep doing what you're doing, I commend you for it. 

Sincerely, 

Laughing at life- Independently 

I've Got a Cold One and a Computer

Ernest Hemingway once said,

"Write drunk, Edit sober."

Now, I'm not quite sure how sir Hemingway came to this realization, but I commend him for it. 

What is it with the correlation between alcohol and the truth?

People always say, "Sober thoughts are drunken words", but that can't be true. Because I'd like to think that the stupid shit I think when I'm drunk, can't be who I truly am. 

Because if that's true, then I'm an idiot. 

So why do we seem to speak the truth to others when we've had a few?

I don't mean when we're beyond drunk, about to vomit, I mean when we've had a few drinks and are feeling good. 

Is the fact that we as humans tend to show our true colors typically when drinking a sign of our extreme conformity when we're all 'with it'? or is it simply what the scientists will tell you? Alcohol simply loosens you up.

I'd like to think that it's not simply what the scientists say, because I can't seem to accept everything seems to just make more sense when i've had a few because of some biological reasoning. And I think there is a deeper meaning to it all. Let it be us mentally taking a step away from the real world and beginning to not care what others think for a second, or that alcohol has magical powers, I am a strong believer of what Ernest Hemingway once said and therefore I will act accordingly.

And yes, as I write this I am sitting with a coors light, taking a load off from studying.

Sorry Mom and Dad. 

But I will give credit to this Coors Light for the insight into my life I'm about to give. 

I am constantly saying 'laugh at life' or when trouble comes just 'laugh about it'. Constantly giving the advice that every time you are able to find humor in a difficult situation, you will win. 

But now I am going to contradict what I've said by simply asking, do you really always win if you can laugh about it?

Day by day I try to find a way to laugh at life's struggles, because in reality for the moment, it works. But what about those nights when you can't sleep?

Those nights when it's just you and your thoughts.

Just you and your life.

Sitting face to face.

Alone.

Trapped. 

Is laughing at our struggles really going to work then?

I'd argue no.

There have been plenty of nights that laughing just isn't a possibility. And I am now going to tell you, that isn't bad. Because, why must we always be so strong? Human beings are weak by nature, as are all things. We all can be weak. We can run from being weak as much as we like but eventually, we all get tired and the nights catch up to us and we're alone again, our thoughts having captured us. And in that moment, laughter is simply inappropriate. 

In that moment of exhaustion from running, we've got to let our minds take over and do some thinking, as painful as it may seem to some of us. 

And why is this you ask?

Because if we consistently run from our problems, our thoughts, the daily struggles of our lives.. we eventually will crash. Like a runner attempting to run forever, we will reach exhaustion and lord knows that will occur then. 

Facing our problems and thoughts may be tough, but in the end it keeps us sane. Because avoiding our problems is like throwing everything you don't want into a closet. Soon the closet isn't going to be able to hold everything and it's going to spew all over, and now look at the mess you've made. And once that happens you've got to start picking everything back up, and refilling the closet, a vicious cycle. 

Whereas if we simply clean out our closet a little every once and awhile, there won't be a mess to clean up. 

It's simple logic, yet we all seem to deny it, because it can sting a little. 

Those nights where you've got to think about the struggles of your life, stings. 

But if you ask me, i'd rather take a bee sting every once and awhile then an electric shock. Any day. 

So next time it's just one of those nights, where you realize all your problems, faults, struggles, and overall realize that your life isn't perfect, don't run. Face it, life's tough. No matter how fast you go, you'll never get away from life. She's a bitch.. and damn she's quick and has great endurance. 

So tonight I leave you with this,

Keep laughing at life. 

But sit down with life every once and awhile and face her. 

Or she'll find a way to make you take a seat herself. 

Sincerely, 

Sitting down with life. 

Oh and sorry Ernest, I don't think I need to edit this sober, this is as good as it's going to get grammatically.