You can find the article here: http://bemalleable.wordpress.com/2013/12/31/sincerely-one-of-many-girls-who-care/
Though in all honesty, I didn't finish it. I'm just commenting on the overall opening concept of this piece.
Now I'm typically not one to bash others opinions, or really give a hoot about what people of religion or people with no religion are preaching about, but this set me off past my beliefs on religion. This brought out my feminist/feministic side. (Not that I would define myself as an extreme feminist by any means, however I think as a woman, it's important to be slightly feminist. Seeing as well, I am a female and I'm just as good as any man out there. Maybe not at building stuff, but you get my point.)
Anyways, this article is an apology. And in short, it's an apology for women's existence. Now I'm not saying the author specifically states, I'm sorry for women and their existence.. but she comes pretty damn close.
"I’m sorry that you see hundreds of advertisements every week showing half-dressed women. I’m sorry every time you go to the beach or your neighborhood pool you can’t look in any direction without seeing a girl basically in her underwear. Or that you can’t scroll through Instagram on “women crush wednesdays” or any day for that matter without an airbrushed girl in a thong staring you down. Or that your buddy showed you that one magazine when you were 9 and you’ve never forgotten that moment because that was the first time you first saw a completely naked woman. When I think about the guys in my life who are striving to live with a pure and Godly mindset, it honestly breaks my heart that they’re surrounded with so much temptation."
Now many people may not take this as an insult (though you people may want to stop reading right here), but I did, and i'll tell you why. As women, I don't think we should be pointed at as the cause for mens un-godly mindsets, or basically blamed for all males sexual drive. That to me, is ridiculous. You see, when I read this I saw what she was trying to get at. She is very sorry that there is so much sexual advertisement all over the place. However, what get's me is she isn't putting it that way, she's saying it as if it is our fault as women for letting all of this take place.
Which in some ways, it is our fault. Women do pose half-dressed, however, the female body is beautiful and media wants to perpetuate and thrive off of that. (Given the way in which advertisements perpetuate women should look and what is beautiful, and all the wrong doings there, is a whole new argument). What she's saying is "I'm sorry men, that you have eyes and can see beautiful women all over the place, and are attracted." Or the swimsuits argument, really?? .. I don't even want to go there. Then she bashes women crush wednesday, which really blows my mind, because now she's pointing fault to all those who post photos of women they find beautiful on any given wednesday and she stereotypes that all these women posted are airbrushed in thongs. (My guy friend women crush wednesday'd me one time.. a nice picture of us two. I was not airbrushed, nor in a thong, and I personally took it as a compliment.)
I could get into more about what she said but I'll move on to my next point.
Why's no one apologizing to us women? I'd like to see the apology edited to be like this:
"Women, I'm sorry you see hundreds of shirtless men who are half-dressed on TV and in advertisements every day. I'm sorry every time you go to the beach or pool you can't look in any direction without seeing a man in simply swim trunks, just showing off his chest to the world. Or that you can't scroll through instagram on man crush monday without seeing an airbrushed man in a thong, or nothing at all, for that matter.. blah blah... It honestly breaks my heart that women are surrounded by so much temptation."
.. That's what I would have liked to see a women write to her fellow women, an apology for how hard it is to be a female surrounded by temptation (because that's something a female could relate to another about. Though that would have still annoyed me because it's blatantly passing judgement on the opposite sex for dressing a way the author does not approve of), This letter would have seemed more 'right' and 'just'. Not a woman apologizing to men, who are driven by sexual desire, for her fellow women who decide to not live as modest a lifestyle as she may. Theres so much slut-shaming here I can't handle it.
And I'm not justifying anything that she claims women are doing that 'tempts' men. I'm just saying that not only is it wrong to blame women for males sexual desire, It's wrong for her to be perpetuating her beliefs in such a way. To take it to extremes, it'd be similar to her writing "Dear man, I am sorry that woman tempted you so much that you had to rape her. She was dressed in such a way, that I can see how you couldn't resist, I really am sorry women tempt you so much like that. Sincerely, female."
And see, that seems crazy.
If you are a female, in this really tough world, where it's already hard enough to have self esteem.. why would you make women feel like crap by turning on them and apologizing to the opposite sex for them. As if your fellow women's actions and the way they chose to live their lives or present themselves is cruel to men.
Why don't you just go make him a sandwich while you're at it? Because it seems we've fallen back to the happy homemaker times, where women were expected to simply support men, and not have a say themselves.
In the end I guess what I'm trying to say is plain and simple; thanks, but no thanks.
Don't go apologizing for me, I'm not sorry.
Women have the right to do whatever they please, I may not agree with all of it either, but it's not your job or anyone else's job for that matter to apologize for them. Men are just as at fault as women are and there is no reason to treat men like the victims. Grown men with sexual desires, don't need to be treated like children.
Nor is it right for you to judge women. You don't see anyone apologizing for women who are modest, because it's simply wrong.
If you find what this woman said okay, that is just fine. You have a right to your opinion (as do I, hence why I'm posting mine here in this blog) and I respect that. However, keep it to yourself. Because I may not know the bible word for word, cover to cover, or understand everything. But one thing I do know, is that passing judgement upon others is frowned upon.
And even if it weren't stated in the bible, it's wrong no matter what. Because the only person who should be allowed to pass judgement on you, is yourself. (Maybe your mother too, depends, she did have to work her ass off for 9 months so you could even happen.)
Anyways, I'm sick of societies judgement making people feel like their doing something wrong, simply because society says so. Whatever I do in my life, I get to judge myself for. If I want to feel bad about something I've done, I reserve the right to make myself feel bad and judge myself. No one else, plain and simple.
Sincerely,
Feeling very controversial tonight and laughing at myself because I reserve the right to.
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