Thoughts on a Bridge

I've had millions of thoughts trapped in my head today, not that I've been counting. So here goes something. The tone and mood of this, I cannot explain. I truly am not depressed or any such thing, this simply escalated from my current dread of the cold which I feel has been following me everywhere I go. I started pulling in some metaphors to my life throughout, though I originally had no intentions to. It's not a poem, it's not a short story, it's not a soliloquy, I don't really know what it is other than simply my thoughts in a patchwork of something related to winter.

I guess, enjoy.

Thought's on a Bridge 

Living in the frigid cold is driving me insane, I'm quite sure of it. I will admit, I am foolish in my belief that depression is a choice. However it seems to be lately that maybe depression is simply a matter of perspective. For my perspective on life right now is cold and grim, as are my surroundings, as is my attitude.
No I am not depressed, I have not made the choice to be, but I am going mad. 

Maybe the goosebumps are to blame, forever scarred into my arms, clinging to me like a rain cloud over my head. Or maybe it's the burning of my ears, that lingers constantly, slowly falling victim to frostbite. Or it could be the patches of ice, scattered like mine's across campus, threatening me at every corner.

Whatever it may be, I can't bear it.

I've never looked up the definition of insanity, for I have been sure I am sane, but maybe the arctic air has put me in my place. The cold is cracking me. I'm ice and spring is approaching quickly. I'm a snowman and the drunks have come to bring me down. 

Am I weak to have fallen victim to the tundra? I am sorry to have frozen. Like the hand on an old victorian clock, I'm stuck.
I never wanted to lose, but like the frozen river edges, I can't go with the flow any longer. 

It's hard to think when you're mind is trapped in an ice box. 

It's hard to stay sane when you're mind is shaken, beaten, and bruised with insanity. 

Will you forgive me? This walk has been hard alone.
I forgot to bring you with. 

I've slept alone in this house long enough, furnace burnt out like we did, and I've been left here freezing. With the front door bleeding cold air, I can't help but think this is your fault. Couldn't you have fixed it? A new door, a new window or two?
I wished for a second chance to shield all that was good in this home from the bitter cold.
But no, It seeps from that front door, flee's this house. 

Wishing is for fools, as is sanity. Depression is weak, but then so am I. 

I don't wish to remain in this cold, I don't wish to carry on freezing. I can feel myself giving into the bitter chill, I can feel it breaking me down. But if there's a moment I want frozen in time, this isn't it. I won't let this be it. The cold can attack my body, but I won't let it freeze my mind, not in this state.

What am I thinking? I must put an end to this foolish thinking, the bitter cold is freezing me as I speak and time is short. So I leave you with this, my love. 

You can leave me frozen in this state, you can enclose my mind in this ice box if you must. But as the seasons change, so will I, and all of me you're bitterness has ruined will come back to life. I can feel an escape from this pain, I can see my spring garden blooming. So bring on the chill my love, freeze me in time. 

But look out next spring when I bloom, it'll be you're hell.





Sincerely,
Me. 

Why Do We Whine About The Weather?

I can honestly admit that every morning when I step outside to head to class, I automatically know whether I am going to bitch to people about how shitty the weather is today, or whether I am going to talk about how beautiful it is outside. The ever changing weather has the ability (for me at least) to change my mood every single day. So when I saw a youtube video recently called 'Los Angeles Overreacts to Cold Temperatures' from Jimmy Kimmel, I was quickly intrigued to see what one of the warmer states in the country considers cold.

You can check out the video here: 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=72mvm0tx_28

To sum up the video it contained clips of news cast teams in Los Angeles explaining how 'freezing cold' temperatures have been (and will continue to be) and waning everyone to 'bundle up' for this upcoming 'arctic blast'. 

What was the average temperature in Los Angeles at this time? 

50-55 degrees Fahrenheit. 

SERIOUSLY?! 

Let me fill you in on a little bit of my life before I get to my point, so you understand why I find this so comical.
I come from what we like to call the tundra, in other words Minnesota. When it hits 55 degrees here, you will most definitely see people in shorts and t-shirts. Hell, when it hit's 30 degree's we get excited. If you were bundled up in 55 degree weather here, people would most definitely do a double take looking at you. 

Not to mention freezing point is actually around 28 degrees I believe, so the news team really needs to fix up their word choice before saying it's 'freezing cold'.
But, I'm not talking about this to tear apart Los Angeles (their wimps, no need to hurt their feelings). 

What I'm really getting at is this, Isn't it amazing how what some people find warm, enjoyable, exciting weather others find freezing cold, treacherous, unbearable weather? I bet if we were to place someone from LA in Minnesota, Wisconsin, or anywhere in the Midwest they would panic. And if they had to go out and shovel snow? Oh lord. That would be a wake up call. This isn't to say that people in LA are crazy, because I'm sure people in LA think those of us living in states with below freezing temperatures are equally crazy.
Hell we're all crazy.
But look what we take for granted. Why must we whine about the weather? Why do we so simply allow the weather to change or mood, feelings, and overall attitude throughout the day? In reality even in shitty weather, we're lucky. When you complain about too cold, someone somewhere is complaining that it's too hot. When you complain about a rainy day, someone somewhere is wishing it would rain.

In reality we as human beings are flawed, and one of our main flaws is our love to complain about the weather (well, theres bigger flaws but you get what i'm saying).

Next time you step outside, catch yourself before you start bitching about the weather. Catch yourself the second you start to pick out flaws in the weather and remind yourself, It's just the weather. The more you complain about it, doesn't increase the chances for it to improve, and only makes you more miserable about the current state of the outdoors. Grab an umbrella or throw on a pair of sunglasses, blast the air conditioning or turn up the heat, grab an extra jacket or throw on a T-shirt.
You can't change the weather.
But we sure could change our attitudes towards it.

Let's take away the weathers power to control our moods.
It's a new day.


Sincerely,
Laughing in the rain